Inner Balance Life Coaching

We've Moved!!

2011-02-22T23:17:00.001-05:00

That's right! The Inner Balance community has a brand new home. Check out our new site and blog at: http://www.innerbalanceliving.com

Healthy Limits - Guest Post

2010-12-22T22:37:00.004-05:00

One aspect of being mindful is being in touch with our feelings and knowing what is and what is not OK for us. Being aware of our limits is one thing, articulating them is another. This is a great post from Kim Leatherdale (http://www.creatingrewardingrelationships.com) on how to do just that - set limits vs. ultimatums. Enjoy!

Ultimatums vs. Limits- I won't take it anymore
By Kim Leatherdale

This morning I was reminiscing with my mother about the importance of setting limits in life, and we were both wondering why people are so bad at setting healthy limits with others.

Ever wonder?

I said to my mother, "People confuse healthy limits with ultimatums." Then I realized I was right! (Happens more often than most think!) It is the confusion between limits and ultimatums that trips people up.

You see, healthy limits are when you say to someone else, "I am not going to live with ____. You can if you want, and you can continue the behaviors if you want, but I am not going to stay around it." The limit is actually on yourself- what your limit is. You are making your statement of where you will and won't go, and you aren't telling someone else how to be.

In contrast, an ultimatum sounds like this: "I'm not going to put up with _____, and you need to stop it, or I'm going to do _______ to you." You see the difference? You are telling someone how to be, what to do, and making a threat. You are removing the other person's choice, and not working on yourself.

Now, many people will argue this is only semantics, but it is much more than just a word play. The focus, intention, and expectations are totally different in the two cases. In setting limits, your focus is on yourself- on the change you are going to make in order to remain healthy. The intention is not to change someone, but to change yourself, and you let go of expectations of the other person. When you make an ultimatum, you focus on the other person, intending and expecting them to make a change. You are trying to control them rather than take care of yourself.

That's why ultimatums fail. You can't control another person; you can only be in control of yourself (and often only on a good day!)

Let me give you an example from my own life; it's what Mom and I were talking about this morning. Many years ago (January 1st, 1985 to be exact) my mother said, "I am not going to take it anymore." She went on to say she did not appreciate being the butt of the jokes in the house, it was painful, and every time we started she was going to remind us how much it hurt her. Although our family was not intentionally mean, we did pick on each other, and Mom was more often than not on the receiving end. (Amazing how little you recognize your own behaviors until someone points them out. I learned a lot that day and in the subsequent months.) My mother stuck to her word; every time someone started to pick on her, or she was made the brunt of something, she would solemnly and seriously remind us "It's 1985, I do not take that anymore." She didn't threaten, tell us what to do, or order us around, but her quiet insistence (and healthy limit setting) gave us the choice of how we reacted. Not only did we stop picking on her as much, the whole tenor of the household became more positive and supportive.

That's what a healthy limit looks like and what it can do in your life. Thanks Mom for such a wonderful example!

This week take some time to consider your limits. What will you and won't you be a part of? What is unhealthy for you, and how are you going to react to that from now on out? And if you have set limits or failed with ultimatums, what can you learn (and share here?) Focus on how you will react, not on making someone else do something.

Giving Thanks

2010-11-24T22:57:00.001-05:00

Mindfulness helps us be present to everything in our lives - the good times, the challenges, the big and the small. This Thanksgiving, during what can often be the start of a busy holiday season, let's slow down and really BE in the moment.

Taste the yummy food (my mindful eating challenge to you!). Take a moment to appreciate all the good in your life.

Thankfulness is mindfulness, and if you can maintain thankfulness, you're being present to all that is.

Wishing you a very Happy Thanksgiving!

Corinne

Meditation time... what is stopping you?

2010-10-16T18:54:00.000-04:00

We all know the good things we should be doing for ourselves.... eating right, exercising regularly. Yet with obesity and diabetes being at an all time high, it is clear that we might know what we need to do for our health, but actually doing it is a whole different ball game.

When we're establishing and developing a meditation routine, there are two steps to consider.

First, we have to remember that this is something we're going to do. If we're caught up in our daily activities, it can be really easy to forget about meditation entirely, until you're already in bed and too tired to do it.

Second, we have to actually sit down, turn on a recording (if need be), and do the practice.

So if you're struggling with establishing a routine, it becomes important to identify where you're getting blocked. Are you forgetting about meditating entirely? Are you remembering, but lacking the motivation to actually sit and do it?

If you are forgetting entirely, there are a number of things you can do to help:

Write a reminder in your planner, calendar, or on a sticky note. Post the note where you will see it.
Actually schedule the time in your planner.
Set an alarm to go off at the time when you are scheduled to start
Enlist the help of a friend to remind you that this is important to you.

If you are remembering that you want to meditate, but are lacking the discipline to sit down and do it, try this:

Schedule it at a time when you're usually quiet - when you first wake up, or before you go to bed.
Meditate WITH someone - your friend, spouse, child, or family member.
Make it FUN! Set up a special space in a room using a candle, cushion, and plants. Wrap yourself up in a blanket to look like a yogi. This is also really cozy!

What motivates you to meditate? Are you feeling blocked in getting a routine going? What prevents you from meditating regularly? Do you have a helpful tip to share about what keeps you on track?

Let me know by leaving a comment below!

Life Made Easier Giveaway!

2010-09-22T23:47:00.002-04:00

Are you ready for some fantastic and FREE resources?

I am really excited to announce that the "Life Made Easier" Giveaway is now happening!

Several colleagues and I have been hard at work for the past several months putting together a digital library of resources for our friends, family and clients. We think we've got some pretty interesting and useful items for making life easier as we head into this autumn.

At our GIVEAWAY WEBSITE you will find:
articles to help parents with struggling children
audios to help anyone jump-start a meditation routine (Made by yours truly!)
tip sheets and reports for new families, depressed moms, and adults who want new approaches to problems
a video that demonstrates a technique anyone can use to get rid of worry
an audio with an action plan that helps you overcome shame
and more!

Check out our website, and request what catches your interest.
Ask for as many as you want -- there's no limit.

CLICK HERE to get to our giveaway page (if you can't click on the link, copy and paste http://www.nohypementortoolkit.com/giveaway.html into your browser). You will find instructions and the info you'll need to get your freebie articles, tips, reports, audios, and video.

PS: Please share this with your own social network. We'd love to have hundreds and thousands of people grab our giveaways!
We won't maintain this site for long. After 60 days, the site will be deactivated. So don't delay. Come visit now and see what's there for the taking to improve health and happiness for you this autumn!

Be the change.

2010-07-31T17:23:00.004-04:00

"Be the change you want to see in the world."

- Mahatma Gandhi

This is one of my all time favorites quotations. It brings us back to the idea that in order to make any change in the world, we have to come back to ourselves, because change starts from within.

Do you want to see more peace in the world?
Do you want more peace in your life?
Do you want more peace in your relationships?

If so, then it is imperative that you find willingness to look at what is going on in your heart and mind. This requires tremendous honesty with oneself.

Each one of us has the capacity to come from a place of love, or from a place of attack. The attack can be the slightest passive aggressive insult, or an all out explosive fight. The difference in form or intensity doesn't matter - the impulse to attack comes from the same place in both situations.

When you feel the impulse arise to attack, whether it is a subtle or a loud attack, see if you can first notice that impulse. Then ask yourself, "Am I willing to see this situation differently?" If you are willing, continue to observe this impulse and keep asking for a new way to see the situation. This can lead to a "miracle" - defined as a shift in perception, according to A Course in Miracles. The shift might not come immediately, but you've made room for it to occur.

Coaching Questions:

Where in your life do you want more peace?
What would it look like if you had more peace? How would it feel? How might it look on your face?
How willing are you to experiment with seeing things in a new way?
When you're in the heat of the moment, how might you remind yourself to tap into the willingness to see it differently? How might you remind yourself to do this once you're out of a difficult situation?

Peace is IN you

2010-06-30T23:28:00.061-04:00

Peace does not come from anything or from anywhere outside of you. It does not come from a bigger house, bigger car, more money, more friends, or more vacations. Maybe those things will have a temporary positive effect, but it will only be that – temporary. And when that temporary peace fades, you will soon be searching for something else.

Peace comes from a place INSIDE of you. You can’t make it happen, but you can set up certain conditions to make room for it to come. One of the conditions is learning how to be still. Not just a stillness of the body, but a stillness of the mind.

There are many ways to cultivate coming to a place of stillness. I've previously written about getting lost in a creative activity you love, about the practice of mindfulness, and there are many other ways.

One way to come to a place of stillness, is by connecting with a feeling of love, compassion, or warmth, for someone or something in your life. This is like the Buddhist practice of Lovingkindness, or Metta meditation. This can be a wonderful practice if you are ready to work through some grievances or grudges which you are holding on to.

Time to Practice!

Find a comfortable place and close your eyes. Bring your awareness to your breathing. Stay here for a few mindful moments. Next, bring your awareness to your heart center in your body. As you connect with your heart, think of someone or something (a pet perhaps?) that engenders a sense of love, compassion, and joy in you. Actually feel that feeling of love, NOW. Hold this person or thing in your mind, and continue to sit fully connected with this feeling of love within yourself. If your mind starts to wander, nonjudgmentally bring your awareness back to this sense of compassion. Continue to maintain this loving connection until you feel ready to open your eyes.

Notice how you now feel, and how some stillness may have entered your mind.

How the Finale of LOST relates to “A Course in Miracles”

2010-05-31T22:25:00.003-04:00

I’m taking a different approach to my blog entry this time, as I have been a fan of the ABC’s show, LOST. There were some great themes that stood out to me in the final episode of LOST which parallel the teachings of “A Course in Miracles” (ACIM). Under each theme, I note how it relates to LOST and how it relates to ACIM. Here are some goodies.

The Nature of Reality and the Illusion of Time

LOST: Reality in Lost is a reality in which time can be altered, islands can move, and reality is not always what we expected it to be.

ACIM: According to the Course, the world as we know it is NOT our true reality. It is a place that we have chosen to come to live in, and live according to our OWN will, while seemingly being able to tune out God’s will at our discretion. It is a place where our egos rule and where we seem to be limited to the body. It is only once we awaken to the truth that we are all connected, and that our true will IS God’s will, that we then begin to find peace. Also, according to the Course, time is an illusion. It is something that we made to make it seem like there is a big gap between where we are and where God is.

The Church and the “Real World”

LOST: In LOST, we had the reality on the island, and then the “parallel reality,” which was a place where everyone was playing out their stories as things would have been, had Oceanic Flight 815 never crashed. Ultimately, we learned that this “parallel reality” was a place where the characters came to after they had already died, to “remember and let go.” This was a transitory place (as Christian Shepard said, “there is no now, here”). It instead was a stepping stone where everyone came to enter the light together.

ACIM: According to A Course in Miracles, before we return to our True Reality (call it Heaven, Oneness, etc.), we awaken to what the Course calls, “The Real World.” Since “God created only the eternal, and everything you see is perishable… there must be another world that you do not see” (Text Ch 11, Section VII, Para. 1). The real world is just before the gates of heaven. It is a borderland that we will actually see when we have the willingness to look past what the body’s eyes tell us and have truth be shown instead. Kind of like the church in LOST.

The Stained Glass Window

LOST: On the stained glass window in the church, symbols of all of the worlds major religions were represented. This indicated an openness to everyone being able to get to Heaven when the time comes, no matter what system of spirituality one may follow.

ACIM: The Course supports the idea that there is more than one way to God. God’s teachers come from all over the world – “They come from all religions and no religion” (Manual, Section 1).The Course states that it is just one form of a universal course and that there are thousands of forms, each leading to the same place – the realization that we are Love.

The Experience of “Waking Up”

LOST: So one by one, each member of Oceanic Flight 815 “Wakes up.” Desmond, Sun and Jin, Hurley, Sawyer and Juliet, Sayid, Claire, Charlie, Kate, etc., and finally Jack. When they remember their former lifetimes, and where they are now, each becomes peaceful, certain, and unafraid.

ACIM: This perhaps is what it is like when we “wake up” to our true reality, realizing we have never really left our Source. This can be compared to what the Course calls, “The Holy Instant.”

Finding our True Will

LOST: There are countless examples through the series of how Jack’s ego thought he could control things. On the worlds terms, he was well off as a respected, intelligent doctor. Yet he wasn’t happy because he was only filling his ego’s function, by playing God and reversing the seemingly irreversible as a surgeon. His ultimate purpose was not decided by him. He only found true peace when he listened to what his purpose was and followed it.

ACIM: The Course says that we will not be happy until we are fulfilling our function. This means that we have to learn to listen to our Inner Guide, and begin to trust it. The good news here is that, according to the Course, there is no sacrifice. We can’t lose anything. We are never asked to suffer, because suffering is of the ego (and we are not our egos).

Free Will

LOST: In the final episode, Ben chose not to enter the church with Hurley because he didn't feel ready to move on or cross over.

ACIM: The Course repeatedly emphasizes how we have free will, in that we can delay choosing for God as long as we'd like. One lesson in the Course is "Heaven is the decision I must make" (Workbook Lesson 138) and it highlights that Heaven is chosen consciously.

We don't lose anything

LOST: In the church, everyone was all together again. Although they had all died, they did not lose the sense of who they are or the love that they share.

ACIM: This again ties in with the idea that we do not lose a sense of being when we leave the body.

We need each other

LOST: Christian Shepard told Jack that "This is a place you all made together so you could find one another. Nobody does it all alone. You needed them and they needed you."

ACIM: According to the Course, the world exists in the "Separation," a state that we "made together" and agreed upon coming to, in order to experience being the "creator" of our own separate little universes. Also according to the Course, the Holy Spirit uses everything we have made by reinterpreting it as a means of finding our way Home. This means that the "light" was placed in our "brothers" so we couldn't fully lose it (even though we chose to throw it away). When we recognize Spirit in our brothers and sisters, we are reminded that it exists in us as well. We need them and they need us.

I've read a number of blogs that indicate how many fans feel a deep sense of loss that the show is now over - like we're losing friends that we've come to know well. This comments on a need that we have for spirituality in our lives even if it is in a pop culture, mass media venue. If we focus on the fact that all of the characters died in the show, the ending is certainly sad. Yet, if we focus on the fact that everyone IS, and everyone IS together, despite having moved on from their physical existence, it is certainly a happy ending.

Making decisions

2010-04-30T18:06:00.000-04:00

There are two ways that we can make decisions.

One is the way that most of us are used to. We decide what we think is best for us, what will make us happy, what will keep us safe, and then we make a choice from there. This is the way of the ego or small self. This is our way most of the time.

Another way can seem much harder, and perhaps even scarier. This way involves stopping and asking your inner guidance system (or you may call it your intuition, higher power, heart, inner voice, etc.) what should be done, and getting quiet enough to listen for the answer. This is the way of the spirit, or the higher self. It seems scarier because you are choosing to not listen to what is coming from your ego, and instead you are listening to what comes from a deeper place. This way then involves having enough faith to act on what you hear (a topic for a whole separate blog entry!).

There is a big difference between the two ways that we can make decisions. Through the ego way, we may decide to do something and then pray that it will work out. Through the way of the higher self, we first pray, asking what to do, and then proceed to do it. We get quiet enough to listen to what our inner guidance is telling us, we act on that, and then find that whatever we need is provided for.

A wonderful modern-day example of a man who makes decisions from this higher place, is Angus Buchan, whose story is told in the film, "Faith Like Potatoes." If you see the movie, be sure to watch the bonus feature documentary - it makes the film much more meaningful by meeting the real person.

So where are you making your next decision from? Your ego self, or your higher self?

Ode to the Weather

2010-03-31T14:31:00.001-04:00

"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer."

- Albert Camus

The weather. It is something we're always talking about - and in a lot of instances, complaining about. It's too cold, too hot, too wet, or too dry. Of course we have those beautiful days that we love, 70 degrees, no humidity and sunny, but surely there is someone out there who might define this type of day as undesirable as well ("I need it to rain - my garden is dry" or "I'm on medication and can't be in the sun, it would be better if it was cloudy").

We've had a lot of weather-related events this past winter. And currently, a lot of New Jersey (where I live) has been underwater with torrential rains and flooding. More fuel to complain about for most of us. Yesterday, I heard many descriptors for the day (including descriptors that I used!) like "gross, depressing, awful, disgusting, icky," etc.

The changing weather is a good metaphor for life. Life changes. Things happen. We easily become stuck in a cycle of wanting to hang on to the "good" (those beautiful days), push away the "bad" (the icky rain) and we feel indifferent to the "neutral" (perhaps a gray day with nothing much going on). Sometimes we feel peaceful inside (a calm day), sometimes things are tumultuous inside (a stormy day). The bottom line is that change is a part of being on this planet. The more we can accept this change, and turn within ourselves to find our peace and happiness, the more likely we are going to find a lasting peace.

So my challenge to you is to practice the art of non-judgment towards something we experience every day - the weather. The moment you catch yourself labeling a day as "beautiful" or "gross," take a step back and allow the day to be as it is. Allow yourself to be as you are today. Dwelling in acceptance can be a liberating place.

If I Had My Life to Live Over

2010-02-20T19:19:00.002-05:00

Here are some big coaching questions for you:

If your life ended today, and you could live it over, how might you live differently?

What would you keep the same?

Would you be content with HOW you lived this current life?

I'm talking about the manner in which you live your life, not how much money you make or what you accomplish.

I hope this quote inspires you as it does for me:

If I Had My Life To Live Over

I'd like to make more mistakes next time. I'd relax, I would limber up. I would be sillier than I had been on this trip. I would take fewer things seriously. I would take more chances. I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers. I would eat more ice cream and less beans. I would perhaps have more actual troubles, but I'd have fewer imaginary ones.

You see, I'm one of those people who live sensibly and sanely, hour after hour, day after day. Oh, I've had my moments, and if I had to do it over again, I'd have more of them. In fact, I'd try to have nothing else - just moments, one after another, instead of living so many years ahead of each day. I've been one of those persons who never goes anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat, and a parachute. If I had to do it again, I would travel lighter than I have.

If I had my life to live over, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall. I would go to more dances. I would ride more merry-go-rounds. I would pick more daisies.

Nadine Stair

85 years old

Louisville, Kentucky

Trust vs. Fear

2010-01-30T17:19:00.003-05:00

"And the day came when staying tight in a bud, was more painful than the risk it took to blossom"

- Annais Nin

What is it like to live in fear?

We can all probably easily describe the feeling. It is uncertain, constricting, limiting, anxiety-provoking, tiring, and sometimes just plain scary. Fear makes your world feel small, fragile, and that you could easily lose what you have.

What is it like to live in trust?

This one might be a little harder to answer. If so, think back over your life to try to identify a situation where you lived in trust (childhood perhaps?).

Trust has a lightness to it. You let go of the outcome. You are willing to accept things as they are. You are in the present, rather than worrying about the future. You have a basic sense that everything will work itself out and that everything is as it should be. Think of any one particular situation you are currently facing and ask yourself,

"Am I living in trust or am I living in fear?"

Are you OK with where you are at? If you are in fear and you want to be in trust, check in with your willingness. Are you really willing to trust? Or is the fear serving some other purpose which may cause you to not let it go?

Moving from Fear to Trust

Try reflecting on these coaching questions:

If I were to be in trust right now, what would that look like?
What would I need to do to get to trust?
When I've moved from fear to trust in the past, how has that happened?
How do I usually tap into trust? Is it through connecting with my higher power? Is it through reading, writing, or reflecting?
What support structures can I put into place which will help me shift into (and maintain) being in trust?
What is this fear for?
Am I willing to trust?

If you are really willing to connect with your sense of trust, trust that it will happen.

Washing the dish

2010-01-16T17:47:00.006-05:00

Do you dislike doing dishes? If so, maybe you distract yourself while washing dishes just so it will go faster. If you bring mindfulness into the process, you'll notice that you're never just "washing the dishes" - you're "washing the dish." You're doing one at a time. You will also notice there is a lot to pay attention to: The feeling of having hot, soapy hands, what the sponge feels like, what the dish feels like, how your body warms up after your hands have been in hot water for a while...

One of the great things about mindfulness is that you can do it while you're in the midst of being busy. There is a difference between a FORMAL practice (setting aside a specific period of time to close your eyes and meditate) and an INFORMAL practice where you bring mindfulness to whatever you are doing. So to practice mindfulness informally, all you have to do is this:

SIMPLY PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT YOU'RE DOING.

So if you're driving, drive. If you're walking, walk. If you're eating, eat. Bring awareness into each moment. If you're walking outside to check the mail, feel yourself opening the front door, notice your feet touching the steps, absorb the smell and feel of the air and the sun (or lack thereof), notice the feel and (maybe even the squeaks) of opening the mailbox. Notice what is happening in your present experience. All you have to be is willing to try.

COACHING CHALLENGE:
Think of something that you have to do today. It can be as simple as taking a shower, or logging into your computer. When you do that activity, challenge yourself to be present, and to really pay attention to what your body and mind are doing. Feel yourself touching the mouse, the keyboard... Whatever you're doing, notice the sights, the sounds, the smells, the feelings, and the sensations. If you find yourself distracted, don't worry about it. Just notice your attention went elsewhere and bring it back to what you're doing. Be open to having a mindful day, a day that you fully participate in.

The Burden of the Future...

2010-01-10T10:41:00.004-05:00

I want to share another part of the program I watched from, "This Emotional Life: Rethinking Happiness" on PBS. Researchers have found that as we age, we actually grow HAPPIER, as long as we are not suffering from debilitating illness/pain. This seems contrary to popular belief, but what seems to happen is that the older people get, the better they become at living in the moment. Older people are better able to focus on what matters most in life.

A statement that really struck me from this segment was that as we grow old,
"...We don't have the burden of the future."

What a beautiful statement. The future really can feel like a burden. How much energy do you spend right now that is based on the "burden of the future?" We worry about many things: Having enough money... Having the right things... Knowing that your kids are healthy and safe... Future health concerns... "What if... what if.... what if..."

We spend a lot of energy and time in the future (or the past), and as a result, miss out on the richness of NOW. The good news is that living more in the present moment is a choice. We can choose to focus on the past or future, or we can commit ourselves to living more in the present. We don't have to wait until we are in our 80's or 90's to experience an awakening to the present and a letting go of future burdens.

But how do we get there?

Whatever ways you try, you're probably going to encounter the same need for PRACTICE.

If you choose mindfulness meditation, you will consistently practice being in the moment through focusing on your breath, or some other anchor.

If you are a spiritual person, perhaps you may tap into a basic trust that everything is as it should be, and any situation that is, is an opportunity for growth and learning.

If you resonate with the teachings of A Course in Miracles, you will learn that you can't do anything of your small self, instead you become willing to ask for help from your higher self to see it differently.

Any way you go at it, living in the present requires PRACTICE. And even if you are facing frightening situations that are coming up in the near future, you can still use the present moment to anchor yourself, to reduce stress, and to increase relaxation. If you can't be in the present NOW, what makes you think you will be in the present LATER?

The good news is that you can practice being in the present moment without having to set aside time to sit quietly. I think I'll make this topic my next blog entry...

Insanity

2010-01-09T22:20:00.004-05:00

A 3-part series aired this week on PBS called, "This Emotional Life." I watched the third part last night, "Rethinking Happiness." The show focused on what makes people happy, the importance of our social connections, the power of forgiveness, and many other areas. I highly recommend the series!

At one point, a question was posed:

"Does the way you deal with [your problem] help you?"
"If so, keep doing it."
"If not, change it."

Take anger for instance. When someone cuts you off on the road, it is YOUR blood pressure and heart rate that spike. The burst of adrenaline serves to get us out of the way of danger, but if we constantly experience a rise in our blood pressure and heart rate at every jerk on the road that we see, is this helping you or hurting you?

This reminds me of the definition of INSANITY... Doing the same thing again and again, expecting a different result!

So to take the above example, getting angry again and again and every jerk on the road in hopes that we can show them that we are by far the superior driver is "insane." We're only hurting ourselves.

Think of a "problem" area in your life where you tend to be "insane." What do you keep doing again and again in hopes that something will finally change in the way you want it to? Is this helping you? Be totally honest with yourself in answering this. Defenses aside.

If the way you are dealing with your problem is NOT helping you, are you WILLING to try something new? Again, be honest with yourself here.

If you do have some willingness, however small, why not be open do doing something differently today? When your problem confronts you, be determined to stop and take a breath, and remember your willingness to change. Be open to the possibilities. Maybe something unexpected will happen!

Being still... Being Present...

2010-01-06T17:23:00.002-05:00

"To the mind that is still the whole universe surrenders."

Taoist Ideal

When was the last time your mind felt still?
If you're like most people, it has probably been quite a while.

We spend most of our time thinking about the past, anticipating what comes next, and planning for the future. Rarely, do we spend time only in the present moment. Why is this? Why does it seems so hard to keep a focus on the present moment without leaping from one thought to the next, to the next? Buddhists call this phenomenon the "Monkey Mind." So if you feel like a "monkey," you're not alone.

Often we can most easily tap into the present moment through an activity that we enjoy - exercising, painting, drawing, singing, yoga, running, walking, reading, etc. We get absorbed in the moment in this activity and so it feels easier to "be still" after the activity is completed. That is why at the end of a yoga class, it ends in meditation. Can you relate to this?

If so, here is my challenge to you:

Schedule a time for yourself, today or tomorrow, to do an activity which you can get lost in. And really allow yourself to get lost in it. After you are done, try sitting in a comfortable position and close your eyes for 3 minutes (set a timer if you'd like).

Just notice how you feel after having completed your activity. Focus on your breath if you'd like. Don't judge yourself. Just give yourself 3-minutes to practice "being still" and being in the present. The key here is PRACTICE. Being truly PRESENT comes with PRACTICE. And the good news is you can't fail if you are willing to try.

Welcome to the Inner Balance Life Coaching Blog!

2010-01-06T11:53:00.005-05:00

My name is Corinne Zupko and I am the founder of Inner Balance Life Coaching and Consulting, LLC. I am really excited to share this blog with you. My specialty is in helping successful, creative women and men find more peace in their lives. “Peace” means many things to many people, therefore I will be covering many topics in this blog. My entry for today is focused on my business name and why I chose “Inner Balance.”

Choosing a business name was initially not an easy task for me. I brainstormed pages and pages of ideas, but nothing totally captured the work I wanted to specialize in. I wanted a name that would speak to my passion for helping people find harmony within themselves.

So I thought about my work over the past eight years with musicians in a counseling setting. It has been a blast and has truly been a fun population to work with. Some of my most favorite clients have been those individuals who were seeking to feel more peaceful inside. Perhaps the peace was desired in performance situations, in making healthier present choices, in relationships, or in greater self-acceptance. One very productive way that I have worked with these individuals has been through meditation training and creative visualization. There is something about closing one’s eyes, turning within, and working on a quiet level that produces fast, powerful results. It is really rewarding for me when I can help clients connect with a quiet, peaceful sense of themselves. This “inner world” was something I wanted to capture in a name.

Over the summer, I met a new friend who is an outstanding Holistic Health Counselor. Her business name is “Deliciously Balanced” (check out Christina’s website at: www.deliciouslybalanced.com). I loved her business name, and it wasn’t until weeks later that I thought more deeply about Christina’s choice of words for her business name. “Balance…” Now there is a word that captures the feeling that results when we feel connected to who we truly are. When we have an inner sense of balance, what is there but peace? It is when we are off balance that we have anxiety, fears, and other emotions that get in our way.

I started playing around with the word “balance,” and the moment I thought of “Inner Balance,” I knew I found a name that was a reflection of who I am as a coach and the type of work I enjoy most.

This process was also a great lesson for me. I remember having initial thoughts that I would not be able to come up with a business name myself, and that I would have to rely on someone else to think of it for me. It was only when I worked past this limiting belief that “Inner Balance” came to me.

May we all find a sense of inner peace and balance in 2010. Happy New Year!